2017 has been one of those years when my life did a complete turn around. I came into this year jobless after a year of being shut down on every corner and afraid of what the future had written for me.
I had a bunch of unrealistic expectations on myself – New Year’s resolutions that really had little insight put into it. I legitimately thought I could give one person a random compliment a day for a whole year to try and break my anti-PDA tendencies. That was so unauthentic of me that I gave that up within a week or two. Wow. It doesn’t mean I don’t love everyone in my life. But I show it in other ways (I hope).
About a month into the year, and having started my new job, I slowly started to feel more safe and comfortable in my surroundings.
I’m now starting my career journey in a place where I’m valued, I’ve taken up a leadership role within my community, and I’m about to jump into the holiday of a lifetime. It’s amazing the power other people have on your sense of self-worth and overall happiness. I also can’t stop thinking about how everything happens at the right time, when you need it to, and all the time you spent waiting for things to happen suddenly start to make sense.
My biggest learning from 2017 was to be intentional about closing my eyes and going where the energy is; trusting that whatever will be will be, and understanding that failure is not a sign of weakness, but a chance to grow. I know that is really easy to say when my life is finally smooth sailing, but I’ve been in that place where I didn’t know what was around the corner. What I know now is that all that stressing had no bearing on where I am today. Things just are as they are supposed to be in this time, and I’m ok with that.
I have no idea what 2018 will be like, but now the difference is that it’s not giving me mad anxiety. Whether it’s amazing or a terrible one, the world will keep spinning. I just want to continue to go where the energy is, listen to my gut and be more kind to myself.